The part of the elevator you never use

Part 2: Close, but no Cigar

Last time, we left off with a cliffhanger: delivery people—sans couch—at our doorstep .

The men informed me that the one-piece couch was not going to fit. That’s when I had the crucial realization I should’ve had before placing the order: Sven, our old couch, was actually a sofa with a chaise. Two pieces. So while it was 100” wide, it wasn’t 100” wide in one piece—and it came up those 10+ floors in two manageable chunks .

That was not the case for our new, one-piece friend: Cigar .

Naturally, I rode the elevator down with the delivery guys—because clearly I was going to solve the problem. I could smoosh a Cigar into a lift. I had special powers they didn’t .

Except… no. Sitting at the base of the landing was a box the size of a Volvo —just, you know, without the wheels. It wasn’t fitting vertically, diagonally… and definitely not horizontally.

So yes, it was indeed: “Close, but no Cigar” .

I hadn’t done the critical math on the elevator’s dimensions. That left us with... the stairs. (I’ll let you imagine how thrilled the team was at the idea of carrying a 200+ lb couch up 10+ flights .)

Mercifully—for the delivery guys—tight turns and exposed pipes meant we couldn’t even try the stairs. So, back it went. And for the next three weeks, we lived with beanbags in the living room. (The kids were thrilled. Us? Not so much .)

Eventually, we got a new couch (from the Timber collection ), similar to Sven—two pieces, easy ride up the elevator. All was well.

But that’s not what this story is about.

This story is about what I learned after we sent Cigar back: there’s a guy. (Of course there’s a guy. This is New York.)

Apparently, you can—for a fee —get someone to put a couch on top of the elevator and ride it up to your floor. Not inside. On top. Like a secret freight ninja move.

Would it have been expensive? Yes.
Would our co-op have approved? No chance.
Is it worth considering next time? Absolutely .

Here’s how it works: they lower the elevator below ground level, stand the item on top, and raise it back up until the platform is flush with your floor. Getting it through your front door is a whole other puzzle... but it can be done.

Moral of the story?

Yes, do your math . But also—if you know the right people, New York has a way of making the impossible possible. Whether it’s sofas, solutions, or shortcuts, this city rewards those who ask around and think creatively.

And yes, we love our new couch. His name is Chester.