"Coffee Ben" needs his fix...and a $4k rental
The Science Man is a Coffee Fan
Everyone has priorities when searching for a home. Some people want outdoor space. Others need a second bathroom, a shorter commute, a gym in the building, or an in-unit washer and dryer.
Coffee Ben’s priorities are particular, but straightforward. (I mean, you don’t earn the nickname Coffee Ben by consuming caffeine in moderation.)
Ben won’t make coffee at home. Part of that comes down to standards. He has “opinions” about water temperature, pressure, and extraction. Also, his budget won’t allow for an in-home La Marzocco espresso machine—though he’d probably find another excuse not to brew his own. Instead, he ensures that his apartment is within steps of a reliable coffee shop.
His current lease is expiring, and his landlord is increasing the rent to $5,000 per month. Ben’s maximum budget is $4,000, so he’s in search of a new apartment. Because he spends much of his time on the Lower East Side, that’s where his apartment search begins.
Like many people, Ben has routines. Unlike many people, nearly every part of his morning follows the same sequence.
His alarm goes off at exactly 6:31 a.m. on weekdays, set to WNYC — the local NPR station. He listens while brushing his teeth, always with Colgate MaxFresh Anticavity Fluoride Toothpaste. If he doesn’t shower, and he usually doesn’t on weekday mornings, he gets dressed.
He opens his closet and selects the leftmost pair of pants hanging on a hanger. He then opens his dresser and takes the topmost T-shirt from the shirt drawer. During the cooler months, he returns to the closet and grabs a long-sleeved shirt or sweatshirt — whichever garment is hanging furthest to the right. He opens the drawer beneath the T-shirts, removes a pair of white socks, and puts on his shoes, always double-knotting the laces.
Once dressed, he sits at the kitchen table with a glass of tepid tap water and the previous day’s mail. Using the letter opener his grandfather gave his father — who later passed it on to Ben — he slices through the backs of the envelopes before removing and reviewing the mail. Less than five minutes later, he takes the trash out, drops it down the chute, returns, washes his hands with two pumps of Softsoap Antibacterial Hand Soap and water, grabs his bag, and leaves.
Once downstairs, he walks to the same coffee shop he visits every weekday morning. He orders the same drink: a hot drip coffee, double-cupped, with a lid, to go. He drinks it black.
Coffee in hand, he walks to work.
Ben teaches science at the East Village Community School on First Avenue. His daily walk is accompanied by a rotating collection of podcasts, with Radiolab and The Infinite Monkey Cage among his favorites.
Now that we understand a little more about Coffee Ben, let’s help him find a suitable apartment. (We put a latte thought into it!)
Because Ben’s apartment search revolves around both budget and routine, we approached it a little differently. First, we established his maximum monthly rent of $4,000.
Next, we identified a selection of Lower East Side coffee shops that could fit into his daily routine:
- Café Grumpy
- Crème
- Dialogue Coffee & Flowers
- Elbow Bread
- Kaida Coffee & Bakery
- Ost Cafe
- Porto Rico Importing Co.
- Roasting Plant Coffee
- Taïkii Cafe
From there, we looked for apartments that balance Ben’s housing budget with convenient access to the coffee shops that would best support his daily routine.
Based on those criteria, we’ve identified three apartments Coffee Ben should consider.
List Price: $2,750
Bedrooms/Bathrooms: Studio / 1 bath
Details: Bright studio apartment in a mixed-use building featuring an updated kitchen with white shaker cabinets, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, a gas stove, full-size refrigerator, and a subway tile backsplash. The home offers hardwood floors, high ceilings, multiple windows, and excellent natural light.
Commentary: Compared to the other options, this is a favorable price point. It’s in excellent condition, though storage is naturally limited in a studio. It also places Ben closest to Dialogue Coffee & Flowers, which opens at 7 a.m. every day.
List Price: $3,045
Bedrooms/Bathrooms: 1 bed / 1 bath
Details: Junior one-bedroom rental located in the Lower East Side near Clinton and Rivington. The apartment features a newly renovated kitchen with a dishwasher and allows pets.
Commentary: This apartment is more spacious than the Allen Street unit, although it appears to be on the darker side. (Note: Not the Dark Side.) The issue here isn’t the apartment, though. Taïkii Cafe is the nearest coffee shop, but it doesn’t open until 8 a.m. That’s not going to work!
List Price: $3,750
Bedrooms/Bathrooms: 1 bed / 1 bath
Details: Renovated one-bedroom apartment available August 1, located just one flight up in the heart of the Lower East Side. The home features stainless steel appliances, multiple windows, abundant natural light, and a surprisingly quiet living environment.
Commentary: Although this apartment sits at the higher end of Coffee Ben’s budget, it appears to be the most livable. As with the Clinton Street unit, the lighting is difficult to gauge from the listing photos, but the interior is unquestionably charming. Plus, it’s just steps from Kaida Coffee and Bakery, checking the coffee box as well.
If you were Coffee Ben, which apartment would you choose?
